The AeroSwine LTD. blogspace

“PIMP SPELLING BEE”

by craigc on Apr.12, 2008, under Odds, Uncategorized

Andres wrote a sketch. I horribly acted it out with voices and all. You know you want to watch. You know it’s going to hurt a little but, a very white man trying to pull this scene off is funny. Well maybe funny.

“PIMP SPELLING BEE”
By Andres Palencia

FADE IN:

CARD: REALLY BORING TITLE CARD READS “PIMP SPELLING BEE”

INT. SCHOOL AUDITORIUM – DAY

PIMP1 is standing at the feathered and leopard print
podium. Facing him in a panel of judges, one of which is
PIMP2. On either side of PIMP2 is LADY1 and LADY2.
(Lower 3rd reads ” Round 4 -
Semi Finals”)

PIMP2
You ready pimp?

PIMP1
Chuch.

PIMP2
The word is Ritziticious, make it happen.

PIMP1
Aight. Ritziticious(beat)Can you use it
on a hoe?

PIMP2
(turns to LADY1) Bitch, you shiftin’
splizits on the ritziticious for reals,
dig.

LADY1
(slaps PIMP2 storms off crying)I hate you
sometimes baby!

PIMP1
Aight aight, ritziticious, r-i-t-zizum
shuz-i-c-o-u-s. Bitch.

PIMP2
Play on play on.

PIMP1 walks behind and to the right of where he was
standing. PIMP3 walks up to the podium.

PIMP2 (CONT’D)
You ready playa?

PIMP3
Ritz.

PIMP2
Alright relaxitize, as in I wanna git my
Shirley Temple’s, but I gots tah
relaxitize my hair first.

PIMP3
Maybe you need to relaxitize.

PIMP2
Is, is he hatin’? We got a hater in
here.?

PIMP3
Nah, I thoug-

PIMP2
Bitch ain’t no body tell you to think!
Get this bitch ass of my stage! (beat)
PIMP3 has been elimiated from the
competition for the technical fault of
hating, cuztody of his hoes go to the
winner.

SECURITY1 and SECURITY2 march the guy off the stage. On
the side of the stage is a group of LADIES crying. PIMP4
walks up to the podium.

PIMP2 (CONT’D)
Ready pimpin’?

PIMP4
Easy baby easy, knowmimtalkinbout,breeze
buckin’ wild tizzle, but on the real,
ain’t no raftin, mustard mayonaise…

PIMP2
Yo word is ritz.

PIMP4
Knowimtalkabout, chichen up on the real
dizzle fly-scuzz, hook a pimpn’ up use it
on the po-po

PIMP2
Ritz as in, It would be best for you to
reallocate significant appropriations of
your mutual funds securities into a more
market driven corportate account, ritz?

PIMP4
Knowatimtalkingbout ritz, r-i-rixxit tat,
fixin’ up to skimp on these bitches, cuz
without all that ass i can’t get my
riches, t-z. Ritz. Bitch.

There is a pause and PIMP2 consults with the rest of the
panel.

PIMP2
Preach. Not only! Did you spell the word,
for the first time in pimp spelling bee
history you actually pimped the word. We
have no choice but to crown you winner
pimp playboy, and award you erebody elses
bitches.


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